Life Lessons with Ruby: “If it don’t fit, don’t force it!”

Life Lessons with Ruby: “If it don’t fit, don’t force it!”

Life Lessons with Ruby:

“If it don’t fit, don’t force it!”


By now, yall know my parents were the kings and queens of sayings and life mottos. (Hey Mommy and Daddy! *Insert wave* As a child, I can remember this saying being shared when trying to stuff a toy in an overfilled toy box or squeeeeezing myself into a tight cubby hole to play in and my parent’s very vividly would say, “If it don’t fit, don’t force it!”

As a I reflect on this saying, (despite the gramtactial errors of it LOL) it makes me think of the relevance that it provides to my adult life in decisions amongst my personal growth, relationships and professional development.

As I ventured into the journey of entrepreneurship, I was quite unsure of what I wanted to do. Yes, of course I want to be a full time entrepreneur, creating my own destiny, flexibility to spend time with my family and ultimately creating a legacy that lives beyond me. Ok, great buttttt, HOW do I want to do “that”? What does “that” consist of? Social media provides accessibility to see other people in their passion. I knew I could do anything…. but what did I LOVE to do? Researching, thinking of my passions, joining mastermind groups and participating in webinars really helped me to hone in to my true heart’s desire.

I am true people person! I love hosting events, entertaining, engaging with people, hearing their stories and sharing my knowledge in all realms of lifestyle and beauty topics such as personal life challenges of balancing being a mother, wife and ultimately a woman. Sharing my favorite recipes, fashion, beauty tips and secrets coupled with the ability to meet masses of people via the internet lead to the creation of To Be Ruby!

Could I have become a fitness guru selling personal training, meal plans and exercise plans? Yes, but that’s not my passion (and let’s face it, I am not a size 2 and love macaroni and cheese, tewwww much.)

The point is, if it doesn’t fit don’t force it.

If you are not happy in your current career, don’t force yourself into staying just because of the considerable pay, or that you spent 4 years getting that degree and dreading those student loans – it’s not worth it! Now, I am not saying go quit your job and become a floating spirit in the Cayman Islands (unless you can afford to which leads to me being envious (isnert emoji) because child bills still need to be paid. You gotta eat and how you going watch your favorite reality shows if you don’t have electricity? I’ll wait.   What I am saying is, channel that unhappiness to a passion to pursue what makes you truly happy. If you love creating oil paintings, come home every night and work on your paintings, market them on social media, build a brand to help you launch yourself into that preferred field!

Now, not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur which is perfectly fine, it’s not meant for everybody and shouldn’t be forced on everybody!

If you want to stay in corporate America but want to switch careers from finance to marketing, share your passion with your current manager, ask for additional projects that would give you those transferrable skills to transition into the new field and network with the department that you are interested in. Don’t wait around and HOPE that life happens to you. Make it happen!

When it comes to relationships with friends, family and/or significant others, “If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it!”  If they are not pouring into you as much as you pour into them, Nino said it best, CANCEL THEM!

Life is tewwww short to chase relationships, chase companionship and to chase people who don’t want to be there! If you stop reaching out to them, will they call? If the answer is no, they need ta go! I will not invest energy into things or people who don’t make me happy. Neither should you, boo boo. After all, why would you want to surround yourself with people who don’t appreciate you or your presence? Their presence is no longer needed, dismissed.

Have you noticed that you are forcing tasks, things or people that don’t fit in your life? If so, what are you going to do about it? Comment below.

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