How I learned to say no while retaining valuable relationships.
No. Not “No,..” not “No;…” just a simple “No.” There is so much power in being able to say no to people, events or things that don’t benefit you mentally, physically or financially. Although I’d admit, it is easier said than done…
My personality has always been very inviting and magnetic to meeting new people, making people feel comfortable and ensuring they are having a great time. I am the person who will make the new person in the group feel at ease by making sure they are introduced to everyone and making sure they have a dranky drank, too. Let’s face it, Ruby likes a lil’ sarsaparilla! (Shrugs) With that being said, I can find myself wanting to be a people pleaser.
I often find myself wanting to attend every event, showing up all the time and being super supportive which is where my inability to say no comes into play.
It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy attending these events or the time being surrounded by friends and family but sometimes there are just things that take precedent. Those things could be me running around for a basketball tournament for my oldest son, or creating content for my blog, or just sitting on the couch catching up on my shows. (I am a reality TV connoisseur – I can’t help it! Recent highlight from reality TV I love is Marlo fixing Nene’s bun while in the middle of an argument. I was done! LOL)
The point is – it’s MY time and I choose how I want to spend MY time. During my pregnancy, this truly came to light for me. Grandma was just tired, y’all. There were times where I didn’t want to do much of anywthing nor go much of anywhere and “No.” became my friend. I was saying no with pride and feeling good! Now, the gag is, (spoiler alert) I am no longer pregnant. I can no longer use being pregnant as an excuse for not going, doing or participating but I’ve learned that I don’t need an excuse. I need the conviction of knowing what’s best for me and sticking to it. Time is of the essence! Life is too short to completely put your all into things that don’t reciprocate the same value!
Don’t feel like you have to justify your “No.” with a comma, semicolon or an explanation!
Now, I am not saying just abandon everyone and miss everything because that’s just wrong LOL Of course, there are certains things that you just don’t miss such as milestone events. You make time for what’s important!
Did I fear people feeling some kind of way and drifitng away from me? Yes, but I had to realize something.Those who matter won’t mind. Those who mind, don’t matter! Relationships are meant to evolve and those who are truly there for you will understand and may even learn to take a page from your book (if they haven’t already)! Take care of your boo boo! Feed your soul with the time you need to accomplish your goals, replenish your energy with self-love and care THEN worry about the rest.